Do you notice that in certain situations you have a given reaction that you just can’t change?
Some people will do anything to avoid conflict, even allowing their own feelings or rights to be quashed or ignored in order to avoid upsetting the apple cart. Many people notice they attract the same types of relationships and can’t work out why. Others seem to sabotage their own actions or desires for change, working really hard towards a goal and then throwing it away by an action or inaction, often knowingly or for no apparent reason and then having to start again. Emotional eating is a pattern of destructive behaviour also known as self-sabotage, especially for someone trying to lose weight or improve their health and fitness. Other times similar things keep occurring that seem to be unrelated but when viewed together are the same. Things like a series of car accidents or something where the outcome is the same but the mode of delivery may differ.
All of these are examples of what is called cycles of similarity. To understand this a bit more it helps to know about time.
Actions and reactions affect us like a pendulum we swing from action to reaction and once this is set into play it keeps swinging. How does that look? A partner makes a comment about something we are working on. We react emotionally in that moment of time. Action-Reaction. Picture this pendulum, swinging from left to right. It is stuck in time, meaning it has build up this momentum of swinging therefore, it cannot change direction of its own accord, the pattern is set. A reaction is still a reaction even if we don’t outwardly express it and even if we think about it later and decide to let it go, because later is a different moment in time.
Time is not linear as we tend to perceive it. It helps us in our day-to-day lives to see it that way so that we organise ourselves to meet deadlines and stick to our routines but time is actually cyclic. We have a past, a present and a future that moves from beginning to end like a circle but in a spiral, kind of like a slinky stretched out.
A reaction takes place at one point in time and locked in there and then as time loops back around going past this same spot the same thing repeats again at that point.
You can even complicate matters by having a spattering of emotions attached to this reaction, which then spurn their own moments in time linked to similar issues where you felt the same emotion! Multiply that out time after time and you can start creating some issues in the long term.
It is not impossible to fix though and because time loops giving these cycles of similarity then you can trace the effects on the person in present day back to an original cause.
Why can’t we just work on the issue in the present day, why is looking at the past important?
Visualise a lovely garden with a hose turned on watering the garden.
If you come back to the garden after a time to find the garden flooded and you begin to fix up the plants and empty out some pockets of water here and there and add some more soil, it will look nice for a little bit and then it will become flooded again. You need to turn off the tap so the hose stops flooding the garden. The tap is the source of the problem, the original cause of the effect. The flooded garden is the effect. By only treating the affected parts you will only have so much success until the next time the issue creeps back in.
Once you deal with the original cause you can then go back to the garden and tidy it up the effect more efficiently.
This is a really good way to look at why emotional wellness is a key aspect of any type of healing journey.
Posted by Makensi Caldwell. Makensi is an energetic healer and Holographic Kinetics practitioner. She specialises in helping people to prevent cycles of similarity due to past problems and is an emotional wellness specialist.
Call us on 07 3367 0337 if you’d like to make an appointment with Makensi or anyone on our emotional wellness team.
We all have our gifts and we all have our challenges – often they are one and the same thing.
Some of us are exceptionally good at creating beauty – whether that is a beautiful experience or a thing of beauty. These people are great visionaries, they know exactly what they want to create; they know all the details that need to come together to create that vision. They can sometimes be referred to as ‘Control Freaks’ as they can have trouble delegating or even allowing others to help. They can be very sensitive to criticism, not that they can’t handle it, but rather that they are already very self-critical. In fact they are often perfectionists and never really satisfied with their own efforts. So they are already providing all the criticism and when someone else notices that something is not perfect, it hurts!
Part of this ability to create beauty is a sensitivity and as is always the case in Chinese Medicine, the sensitivity applies to all dimensions of life. So these people, as well as being sensitive to the details and how things come together to create beauty, are also energetically sensitive. They may be particularly sensitive to foods or toxins or pharmaceuticals. They may pick up on someone else’s feelings and be driven to wanting to make that person feel better. They may be sensitive to energy of spaces. They may also be sensitive to energies from other realms.
Now these are ALL extraordinary gifts but if that energy is overwhelming – if the lines become blurred between what is their own energetic stuff and what is not theirs – then this can feel like anything BUT a gift!!!
The wisdom from Chinese Medicine allows us to see that the strengths of this sensitivity are also its challenges. Just to know this alone can help and then to focus on the light of this quality rather than the shadow.
If this sounds like you and you sometimes feel overwhelmed by your sensitivity, there are a few things you can do. The aim of the game is to befriend your sensitivity. You can’t hate something away, but you can LOVE it into balance.
One thing to try is simply expanding and contracting your energy. After all, you, more than any of us, know that we do not end with our skin! Imagine you are standing in a large hall and at the other end of the hall is someone you love. Someone who makes you feel safe. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Create that image in your minds eye; then expand your energy out to reach that person that you love. It is safe for your energy to connect with theirs. Enjoy that feeling – soak up that feeling.
Then do the opposite and imagine someone you dislike at the other end of the hall. Contract your energy, bring it in close around you; to protect you; set that boundary; don’t allow your energy to connect with that other person.
As you play with this concept you get better and better at either allowing your energy to mix or protecting your energy. It’s just like a muscle at the g – the more you use it the stronger and more flexible it becomes.
Here is another simple ritual you may like – to define and protect your boundaries and to stop negative energies from invading your space.
When you wake up in the morning and stand up feet on the ground and stretch both arms out in front of you, like you are pushing something away and affirm to the world ‘I can see you better over there’. Then pushing each arm out to your sides in the same way, say out loud, ‘I will not get caught between a rock and a hard place’.
Say it and mean it!!
Then pushing both hands down to the ground, ‘I hold down the rising tide’.
Pushing both hands up from your shoulders to the sky, ‘I release the weight of the world from my shoulders’.
And finally, tell the universe to get off your back!
You have covered the energy around you in all six directions and created the physical, emotional and energetic space you need. A simple time efficient ritual that is based on prevention is easier than a cure.
There are lots of ways to ground your energy; these are just two simple options. It’s important to ensure your subconscious mind is supportive of your healthy energetic boundaries. PSYCH-K and hypnotherapy are powerful ways to connect to your subconscious and update the software that runs your mind. Remember your sensitivity is a beautiful part of who you are.
If we apply ancient Chinese wisdom to a modern day problem then we would not be seeking work-life balance.
It’s too late by then to bring balance to our lives. The key to balance is to be balanced from within. When we are balanced from within we come to everything from a balanced perspective. Nothing can disturb our balance because we are not relying on external factors to bring us this blissful state.
This is why mindfulness and meditation are such powerful tools to incorporate into our lives.
The mind is incredibly lenient and kind to us! Just a small amount of stillness in the mind can bring about a significant amount of balance to our lives.
So don’t think that you need to replicate the meditation habits of The Dalai Lama in order to bring balance to your life! Just starting with 10 minutes of stillness a day is worthwhile.
There are also many ways to meditate and the simpler the better.
So if meditation is something you have thought about but never tried then be kind to yourself and know that it can be easy to meditate.
There are loads of apps available for very little expense that can be a lovely gentle way to start bringing some stillness into your life. Or you might like to start just focusing on your breath; breathing in and breathing out.
Whatever you choose just find 10 minutes in your day and breathe deeply into your belly. Set yourself a goal to have 10 minutes stillness a day for a week…and then a month…and then 15 minutes.
You might be surprised at how good you are at meditating and your body, mind and spirit will thank you for it.
The Chinese believe we have an extra organ called The Heart Protector.
It’s like an imaginary gate around our hearts. When we are in balance the gate is slightly open, allowing us time to decide if we trust someone or something into our heart or not.
It is not just about romance, everything is connected, so it may be a business relationship or any other decision that we need to make.
If we choose not to let a person or situation into our heart then we can close the gate and protect our heart. Or if we feel safe then we can open the gate and allow that situation in to our heart.
In Chinese Medicine the heart is known as The Emperor. It is literally the heart of all our abundant richness and resources. The Emperor is the keeper of all things beautiful.
Our heart is where we nurture our authentic self, our truth. It is where we feel. But sometimes the Emperor is distracted by The General. You guessed it – the General is our mind. We can overthink things and lose connection to how we feel about something. Western thinking is very much about that we need to ‘do something’ or ‘to fix the situation’ so it can be very easy to get stuck in our thoughts.
Sure it’s important to be able to analyse and think, and we all need our General, but as ancient Chinese wisdom would ask ‘Who do you want to give the power to…The General or The Emperor?’
When we give too much power to The General we shut ourselves off from our feelings. We lose touch with our authentic self. We forget what lights us up and in the extreme may even lose our passion for life.
Many ancient and modern philosophers talk about the journey from the head to the heart being the longest journey. If you feel disconnected from your heart you are not alone, over 90% of people are said to have excessive energetic protection around their hearts.
But the good news is the power of the subconscious mind can help you gently reconnect to all your richness and resources. Your subconscious loves you to bits…it’s all there waiting for you.
Australia has just hosted a visit from The Dalai Lama. He spoke around the country and even hosted retreats for some very lucky people. Born in 1935 Tenzin Gyatso, the current and 14th Dalai Lama was throned in 1940 at the age of 5 and this year turns 80. He symbolises compassion and in fact The Dalai Lama is believed to be an incarnation of the Bodhisattva of Compassion.
So not surprisingly his message is all about compassion.
We all know and use the word compassion – but what exactly is it? It can be described essentially as a deep feeling of sympathy for a person who is experiencing physical, emotional or spiritual misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
So we know what it is, but how do we apply it?
We just have to watch the news to see misfortune on a global and national scale, let alone what is happening closer to our own world. So how can we possibly alleviate suffering?
As the Dalai Lama explained compassion starts with ourselves. Then it spreads out to our family and close friends…our workplace…then it spreads out to strangers we might meet in our day (yes even the ones that annoy the hell out of us)…then into the community we live…the city we live in and so unless we can show ourselves compassion then we cannot truly show compassion to others. We need to walk the walk and talk the talk. We have an effect by demonstrating compassion within our community. This means prioritising your self-care first and foremost. When you give to yourself you expand your potential to give to others and you prevent yourself from burring out.
It can be viewed as selfish and undesirable to put yourself before others, but I would suggest there is a quality called healthy selfishness and that it is very desirable. What constitutes your healthy selfishness may be different from another person, but the common not negotiable to self-care is the quality of the thoughts that you feed your mind.
Unless that voice in your head treats you better than your best friend then there is room to improve those thoughts. Change does NOT come about because we hate an aspect of ourselves. Those phrases & criticisms that seem to be on a negative loop in our head are repeated so often that they become our beliefs. And our beliefs become our reality!
Let’s just think about that for a minute…you repeatedly tell yourself ‘you’re not good enough’ and that thought is absorbed into your subconscious. That thought is now a belief. That belief has a vibrational energy and it is always looking for a match to prove to you how perfect and right you are!
Change comes from compassion. By being compassionate and loving to ourselves we attract compassion and love around us. That belief of compassion has a vibrational energy that is always looking for a match to show you how perfect and right you are!!
The place to start with compassion is with yourself. Do you have emotional baggage that is heavy to carry around? Is there grief or anger that your subconscious mind is holding onto? Is it time for you to transform your inner critic into your number one fan?
Working with the subconscious mind you can update the programs that run your life NOW!
Change doesn’t need to be hard and it doesn’t need to take a long time.
Advanced PSYCH-K Facilitator, EFT Practitioner, Diploma of Clinical Hypnotherapy.
Bodytalk is a comprehensive healthcare system based on energy medicine that looks to restore internal communication in the body and thus, restoring health by focusing on the cause rather than the symptom.
Bodytalk is based on the premise that the body can heal itself just as long as internal lines of communication remain intact. Internal lines of communication means our hormonal, neurological, energetic, circulatory systems and so forth.
Stress can cause these internal communications to become compromised and thus create disease. Stress to the body can mean a variety of things. There are external stressors such as work, family, finances, deadlines etc. Then you can have internal stressors such as acute or chronic health conditions, emotional blockages/build up, trauma, your dietary practices etc.
Any one of these types of stress alone or even in combination will have some effect on the body’s lines of communication, whether in the short term or over a period of time. The body already has a number of daily tasks to perform in an order of priority. It is not so hard to imagine that it can be unable to complete all of these tasks efficiently if the system is not working at an optimum level.
Bodytalk practitioners use a subtle form of biofeedback to locate these areas of stress and mis-communication. These areas of focus are in order of priority for the overall function of the body. Each Bodytalk session has a cumulative health effect on the body meaning that subsequent sessions are building upon the progress of the previous session rather than starting again. The practitioner will build a formula of links from the Protocol chart that form an energetic circuit and when ready, will use a series of non-invasive techniques with tapping. Tapping on the head tells the brain to make the repair to the circuit and tapping on the heart stores the information.
To ensure the best outcome for the client, built-in questioning at every session includes queries for referrals to another practitioner or modality, any changes to diet or lifestyle at home are required and if or when the client may return for follow up treatment.
An offshoot to the Bodytalk system is Veltheim Method Lymphatic Drainage (VMLD) – a relaxing, safe and effective technique to support the lymphatic system. This in turn impacts the immune system, the organs, hormones and circulation.
Our lymph system serves every cell of the body so poor drainage has far reaching effects.
This type of treatment can reduce swelling, helps the body to drain toxins and cell wastes, improve arthritic symptoms, joint pain and period pain.
It is a simple and relaxing treatment that can be done over clothes and even off the body where we will look at emotional and energetic blockages that are impacting normal lymph circulation.
Makensi Caldwell – Certified Bodytalk & Holographics Practitioner, Bachelor of Nutritional Medicine
Why do we repeatedly do the stuff we know we don’t want to do?
You wanted to give up chocolate and there you were a couple of days later sneaking a square or two, which turns into a row or two! GRRRR don’t go there!!
You wanted to drink less wine. It was going okay at the start of the week but then you had a stressful day at work and you couldn’t wait to pour a wine that evening. It felt so good you had another and another.
Even more annoying is that the answer is really simple – we repeatedly do the stuff we know we don’t want to do because our subconscious is SO powerful.
The subconscious mind makes up 95% of our mind, which means that the conscious mind – yes the one that we think is so clever – is just 5%! And to make matters worse we operate out of our subconscious mind 95% of the time.
If there is a limiting belief, a trapped emotion or an unwanted habit in our subconscious mind it will win out over our conscious thoughts EVERY time. It’s a no-brainer; 95% versus 5% – the little guy doesn’t stand a chance.
The subconscious mind is the habitual mind. It downloads habits and patterns directly. It’s great for driving the car without thinking about it and we don’t have to consciously remember to breathe – especially whilst we are asleep. There are a lot of positives to these downloads.
To compound the downloaded patterns and habits our thoughts are incredibly powerful. Say you have trouble with your weight – you diet and lose weight and then a little while later the wheels fall off and you put on more weight. This yo-yoing keeps happening throughout your life. Then you start to think ‘Sure I can lose weight, but I always put it back on and then some’ so that belief sinks into your mind and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The belief that it’s hard for you to keep weight off becomes your reality.
So that’s the problem, but what about the solution? Here we are talking about the power of the mind so we should be ridiculously optimistic and surrounded by positive affirmations, right? What’s with all this limiting, negative chat?
Your subconscious loves you unconditionally. All it wants to do is keep you alive and show you how clever you are. If you think you have no willpower, the universe will prove it to you time and time again. It just wants to show you that you are right. If you think you don’t deserve to be successful your subconscious will attract experiences to back that thought up! Henry Ford said it best when he said ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right’.
So what we need here is to have the subconscious mind on board with our conscious goals and wishes. If both minds are aligned then our thoughts, beliefs and patterns are powerful in the way that we want them to be.
The trick is that these two minds don’t speak exactly the same language. You need to translate your chosen beliefs into a language the subconscious mind can understand. When it truly hears what you are asking, the subconscious mind is SUPER co-operative! Remember it just wants to make you happy and show you how clever you are. So get it on board with your goals and wishes and your potential is absolutely limitless.
A very effective way to communicate to your subconscious is using PSYCH-K, a modality that combines psychology, and all your beliefs, with kinesiology or muscle testing. It balances your chosen beliefs into whole brained state making them powerful and working for you.